And that's monsoon!

A perfect sunny day with nice, soothing warmth and perfectly azure skies.

Sitting by the window, you're reading.
When you look out the window after finishing a page, all you see is darkness.

And while you're still thinking when did this transformation happen,
you feel droplets lashing against your skin.

Rain is the stimulus for lovers and writers.
It's the catalyst that washes away the masks and unveils the vivid colours.

And while you're gazing out the window,
an unpretentious smile has already taken rest on your lips.

Gradually the skies become brighter, you notice.
The velvety grey clouds making way for a patchy blue sky.

And only the drenched leaves quivering as the raindrops slide down
to make splashy puddles on the drunk ground.

Because monsoon is not when you run to take cover;
it's when you rush outdoors to take a swig of life!

The bride to Be! Part-2

           ...Previously

As she turned to the full-sized mirror and started slipping on the bangles, she noticed the lone gold band on her left finger. It had a ‘R’ & ‘A’ entwined engraving. Another one of his insignia of love for her. Many major decisions had been considered playing with it. Slipping in and out, swiveling on the finger, and trying it on other fingers to check the fit.

One such day, playing with it, she had asked Rajat,
‘What if your parents disapprove?’ angst clouding her face.
‘They will not. I promise you. I love you a lot. And they love me. They’ll understand.’
This dispelled all her fears and she was again basking in his love, all irrational concerns thrown to the wind. His candid, modest smile which always conveyed, ‘I’m lucky to have you’, melt her heart.

But not long before, she had become irritable. Annoyed easily, snapping at anyone who tried to engage in a talk with her. Her taciturn temperament was inferable but unacceptable by her friends. They worried. They tried to divert her from both the extremes, either her staccato conversations or her dour tempers. But Rajat had salvaged her, from the wreck she could have become. She felt calmer, stronger and invincible with him. He had become the music to her that she always hummed. He was there. He was, well, he was hers.

She put their favourite instrumental tracks on repeat on her music system and started stowing things around, putting the room in order. She had never been in love before, never wanted to be. Nobody had quite met the standards of her tragic heroes of yore. And neither did Rajat. He never tried to match up to her fantasy apotheosis. But she was smitten. He came like a surprise which she never realized she missed till he came!

She walked to the table. The card was done in silver, just as she wanted. And had a blue ribbon tied at the front. She gently pulled it to open the card. It had their photos as she had planned. He looked his usual immaculate charming self, reserved, with the shy smile. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. But the other picture, she didn’t quite like. She touched lovingly on his name that was embossed in gold. RAJAT. Yes, Rajat, she thought, elation twinkling in her eyes.

She didn’t want to wait. She had to hear him now. He was on her phone’s speed dial. It rang twice before a woman answered.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi, may I speak to Rajat?’
‘Ya, he’s getting ready. Just a minute.’
‘Hi. Rajat.’ He said.
‘Hi!
‘Hey, hi! So good to hear you.’
‘How’s the groom getting ready?’
He smiled, ‘Ya, am almost ready. Are you ready? When will you be starting? You have to reach the venue before 2, ok?’
 ‘Ya, desperate fella’ she chided laughing, ‘I’ll be there before 2, to welcome the groom.’
He laughed, and continued, ‘And thanks. Really, I mean it. Thanks a lot for understanding. I tried my best, but it was contrary to their reason. But you understood. You were my support. You’re the best!’
‘You like her, right?’
‘Yes. Anwesha is a nice girl. My parents are very happy.’
‘Ya, that’s what matters the most. I’ll hang up now and see you soon.’
‘Yes, come soon.’

She disconnected, and looked at her phone wallpaper. It had her father’s inspiring words for two of his favourite ladies, her sister and she- “STRONG GIRLS DON’T CRY”. She shut her eyes tight, trying to keep a check on all the mingled feelings that were trying to gush out. ‘I won’t papa, I won’t’, she recited.

Jigyasa entered the room again, now calling all the friends one by one, to meet at some place. From there, they would travel together. She heard her arguing, pestering, and doing what not, just to ensure that all reach on time. ‘You have some time?’ she asked Jigyasa.
‘I have all the time. Why don’t these damn people get it? When you’re given a time, you ought to keep it! How do you expect me to manage?’ Jigyasa was fuming.

‘I want to visit my family’, she said calmly.
‘We are already running slightly late’, Jigyasa looked anxious. ‘No problem, we’ll manage, you go’, she said after a moment, smiling.
‘And please try to be soon’ Jigyasa called out as she dashed out the door, lifting her saree till ankles to avoid tripping.

Her friends knew. This was her tribute, her way of keeping her family involved in all decisions of her life. Before any major occasion, she’d slip away to the cemetery for some time.

She clicked the key into the ignition of her Honda and steered out to the petrol station just round the corner. She held out the credit card between two fingers and said ‘Tank full’. ‘Yes, ma’m’ came the reply and her card was swiped. She hit the reverse gear and swept a smooth turn. Then flipping her mobile out the car, she buzzed the window shut, and drove away.

After about 90 minutes of frantic searches and calls to a ‘not reachable’ cell-phone number, Jigaysa slumped on her bed, only to find a wedding card half concealed under the pillow, that read, ‘Rajat weds Anwesha’. That wedding was today at 2.

But hadn’t Ananya said she’d have to acquiesce,  since nothing could be done about Rajat’s parents not approving of them? Hadn’t Ananya finally agreed to her marry her colleague? And hadn’t Ananya wanted the engagement to be today?  But Ananya had already gone by then.

The Bride to Be! Part-1

She woke up at half past five. Though the alarm was set at seven and the wedding was at two. This was the day she had been waiting for. In fact, this is the day any girl awaits, with palpating anticipation.

She stretched lazily after the few hours of sleep she had managed, due to the exhaustion. But last night, she had struggled to sleep. She couldn’t stop smiling as she lay on the bed looking around her room for the last time.

Her eyes fell on the bedside table. On it stood a crystal vase with a bunch of wilted, dry roses. It was difficult to say which colour those roses would have been. But the memory of them was as fresh as they once were.

It was the day after he had proposed. He had got her this bunch of fresh, red, half-bloomed roses. She had excitedly taken the bouquet and retorted, it was not Valentine’s yet. To which he had replied, “It’s a valentine’s day, every day, with you in my life. I can’t wait for some bullshit day to show you that I love.” Thus, three years had passed.

They had planned on today’s date from a long time. 17th of April. It used to be her father’s birthday. The thought of him no longer made her funereal. Though, she felt extremely sad, not being able to introduce Rajat to him. Her dad would have been so proud and happy. Though the thought of him never failed to lacerate her, in good and bad times alike, Rajat was her panacea. Now he had become the one she could run to. Whenever, whatever, he was there.

But nothing was same after that night; when she was informed that her family had been the victim of a gruesome accident. She was rushed to the hospital by some neighbours. But her intuition screamed, she wouldn’t be able to talk to her parents and sister anymore. Her world had crashed around her, even before she reached the hospital. And she alone had to bear it.

Her uncle had entered the cold storage room first and confirmed their identities. She barely managed to snoop through the limited confines of a tiny window on the heavy door. Then she nervously entered the morgue. Three bodies were placed side by side. The white sheets covering the corpses were blotted red in places. The room reeked of blood and maybe preservatives too. She had to be carried out by two nurses, and given a couple of band-aids.

A year passed before she rejoined work. Jigyasa, her friend from school had moved in with her, when she came to work in the same city. The melancholies of life had dragged her rough, and tenaciously slow. She was just not her, the incestuous lady that reflected in the mirror. She was maimed beyond her own admittance.

But not today. She jumped out of bed and did a slow dance around the room. She thought she could smell his debonair fragrance. The thought of him made her hug herself in glee. She was feeling unusually shy today, thinking about him. Oh! My man, she thought. How, within a matter of months he had become the world, she had been trying to evade!

She picked the newspaper lying at the foot of her main door, and quickly opened to the page with the section she considered bestiary. But not Rajat. He followed it daily with an almost pious allegiance. ‘Steer clear of rash decisions. Consider your options before taking the plunge. Not a good day to be alone.’ This was the loud warning under her sun sign. She crumpled the paper and murmured, ‘Not today, honey. Not today.’

She ran to her cupboard. On the wall beside it, hung a large frame. The photo in it, was in contrasting sepia tones. It was their Ooty visit. Overwhelmed by his constant presence, and absorbing love, she had confessed ‘You’re like a dream to me.’ He had playfully he pinched her cheeks hard. ‘Oww’ she squealed. ‘No, I’m not’ he had grinned. And a friend had clicked.
 
She carefully brought down her wedding attire. It was a baroque lehenga, which her mother had worn during her wedding. She lifted it out slowly from the heavy box and observed it close, feeling its intricate patterns with her fingers. The rich crimson silk was overlaid with intricate gold motifs and glittering stones. She wished her mother was there to help her wear it properly, and then look on with pride, at what her little girl had become.

Jigyasa knocked and barged in before she could answer, and froze at the door. ‘You’re looking b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l’, Jigyasa muttered slowly, looking stunned. She stood blushing, trying to hold her saree pleats in place and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
‘Now that you’re ready, let me call the others, so that we can start.’
‘I still have to do my hair’ she meekly appealed.
‘Take your time sweetheart." Jigyasa smiled, "You’re already looking a gem. I don’t know what more you can do. But I won’t interfere.”

                                                                                                                Concluding...

Bright Black July

‘It’s not going to work out’ she said, tears streaming down her face. ‘Tumi keno bujhte parcho na?’ (why don’t you try to understand?) His gaze fell to the floor & he pleaded – ‘Give me a chance to make it work, please’.

Couple of minutes back, he had come over to her house for a casual visit. Her dad had answered the door. She came out to meet him and her dad went to their backyard to tend to his plants. They both sat in the living room.

And after some time of talking, when he thought he could, he had popped the question. Her face had turned crimson. She tried looking away, but he saw & smiled. He knew the answer. Just had to hear it from her.

But she denied.

She struggled with her thoughts, fumbled with her words & hesitated to look him in the eyes. He was crying from inside. He badly wanted to give her a hug to assure her that he was serious about them.

She went into the other room sobbing. He sat dejected on the sofa, thinking what his next move would be. He was angry. He wanted to storm out of the house. But he knew, she was the one he would want to go to. And she was here, crying in the other room, still undecided.

He knocked at her door, ‘Please don’t cry. Please would you come out?’ ‘If you are trying to convince me, please don’t’, she said inconsolably from inside the room. He stood, his fist clenched against the door, thinking as to what his parting words would be. ‘Remember this, nothing will change between us.’ And he left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She thought he had a smile to die for. Just the thought of meeting him would make her get butterflies in stomach. Just his reassuring presence beside her made her forget the world around her. She never had a worry when he was with her. She trusted him blindly & never gave a second thought to anything that he suggested for her.

There were no sun rays pouring into her room that dark day of July. She gloomily looked at the heavy downpour through her window. Her heart was crying louder. She brought down her phone from the side table and dialled.

‘Can we meet for coffee?’, she asked. ‘As always’, he smiled.

He had arrived five minutes earlier & watched her get down the auto, carefully angling her umbrella against the pelting rain. Aqua-marine wasn’t her colour. But she looked beautiful nonetheless. She hated rain, but he liked her coming out for coffee with him.

He was standing just inside the door. He smiled warmly. She nodded lightly. She suggested sitting near the huge French window of the café. The rain drops trickling down the glass helped her instantiate her thoughts.

He had already ordered for her favourite chocolate flavoured coffee. She drew her thoughts from the rain outside and turned towards him. Looking at the steaming cup placed before her, she said- ‘When you were not there for me, I realised what you meant to me. I’ll not say I can’t live without you because I survived through last week. But I’ll confess I don’t want to live without you. I want to live, and not just survive & not without you anymore.’

All the while she spoke looking into the steaming cup and playing with it. She tried looking away from him, stealing glances at the other guests in the Coffee-Bar lounge. But time & again, she was drawn to him.

She tried speaking again. ‘It was difficult to stay calm & sane knowing that you are out with her. It was difficult to suddenly get to know of another person in your life who held so much importance. I felt bad to know that you had so safely hidden her from all. I wanted to know who Poulami was. More than that, I wanted to know why you liked her.’

 ‘I kept pulling the reins of my mind not to think of you with her. As much as I tried to be normal picturing you both together, I felt myself flaring. My mind wouldn’t stay put with working. It kept lapsing into the void territory where it refused to think of anything but you. I’m not myself again, without you.’

He took her hands in his and –‘May I?’ She smiled, surprised. He lightly kissed her hand and said ‘How could you even think that I could have gotten over you? I love you.’

 She looked at him askance. ‘I have never known a girl called Poulami.’ He said & winked, ‘I wanted you so much in my life.’ He continued, smiling, looking at her bewildered face. ‘I had always loved you, I knew that. I just wanted you to realise your feelings for me.’